Why being extremely empathetic sucks.

empathetic:
showing empathy or ready comprehension of others' states;

Family disputes are hard to deal with. It's hard to sit back and let the ones you love duke it out while you silently pick a side and hope to God this is all done soon.

Unfortunately, these things are extremely hard for me.

As I type, I listen to my 12 year old sister carry much too big a burden for her heart. I'm overwhelmed with emotion that seems to be radiating from her; Anger, frustration, confusion and more than anything else, ferocious loyalty towards our mother. I've tried to tell her it isn't any of our business, and to let the "adults" handle it (although they aren't acting much like adults right now..), but she won't have it. Thus, I sit in her room with her, listening to her tell me what she would say and what would happen and how much better it would make things.

I'm also swimming in her feelings.

I've always been super sensitive. I've always put the needs of the ones I care about first, and I've always been passionately devoted to my friends, my beliefs and what I believe is right. This sensitivity and strong opinions have lead to me wanting to know how someone could possibly think any differently.

I'm very open minded, and love simply listening, so at a young age, that's what I began to do. I was very shy and soft-spoken, but very smart. I'd analyse a room before going in and playing, so I'm told, and if I didn't like what I saw, I'd stay back with Mum or Dad.

My analyzing habits come naturally now, and I have been analyzing people and situations for a long time. I hurt when they hurt, I laugh when they laugh, and am easily effected by their moods and feelings.

So that's why it sucks. I'm not involved in this family feud whatsoever, and I can't help feeling angry all the time. I feel better now that I've had a chance to write this though. A lot better.

Thank you, blog.
xo